For the English Department...

Today was the second day of preplanning for the teachers at my school. Yesterday I was on my way to pick up a new wireless router so Older Daughter could use her new laptop. Our journey took us by the high school—yep, there were all of their cars, poor things. Preplanning = hours of meetings and introductions + the fun of seeing everyone again after the summer + going out to lunch. How was that ethics video this year? Is the internet working for you? Has a mindless tech person said,”Opps, we know that the internet isn’t working! Don’t email ME about it!” yet?

Today, I met the English Department for lunch at Cracker Barrel. Here is what I have decided about retirement: it’s the same as summer vacation, except that it goes on and on! So I get the good stuff without the meetings and the mind-numbing inspirational speeches. Hooray!

These teachers watched videos about using more technology in their classes. There’s just a little irony in that. I guess the projector was working today, hmmm.

If I won the lottery, I would give the English Department and the Foreign Language Department (that’s you, J.), a bunch of my money. They wouldn’t have to steal the Gator from the Ag. Department; they could buy their own Gator! Also, they could get all the paper they want without having to beg or sing and dance, hire someone to make all the copies they need on their own copy machine, get ENOUGH books and DVD players, and afford, oh yeah, WINE WITH LUNCH!!!!! Plus fancy coffee for all! AND they could pay Patsy to cater lunch for them, too, if she wants to!

Well, I’ve never actually bought a lottery ticket. I don’t have any deeply moral misgivings about the lottery; I just don’t know how to do it. I need to keep learning new things, though. I’ll get right on it! (Y’all just hang on until I figure it out.)

Finally, the last day...

Today was my last day!! An old friend who is a retired teacher came to help me finish cleaning out everything. I probably never would have gotten finished, otherwise. We went out to eat lunch instead of going to the official school cookout. Then, I went back to attend the county-wide reception for retirees. Well, here’s how that went.

First, teachers from the primary school and their principal went up. The principal talked a long time about the merits of these teachers. The teachers cried. Some other teachers in the audience spoke up about the merits of these teachers. Some more people cried. The elementary school principal then went up. Only one teacher was retiring from there. The principal and the teacher cried. You get the picture.

Next up, the middle school principal is a very tall man who, fortunately, did not cry. However, the retirees and some audience members did cry. Finally, it was time for the high school. By this time, I was getting very restless. Too much crying going on, speeches going on too long, etc. When my assistant principal went up, I said, “You aren’t going to cry, are you???” Then some stories were told about the time I wore my dress backwards to the stage on honors night. Then someone admitted to rolling my yard one night a long time ago, and thanked me for not letting my husband shoot her. Anyhow, NOBODY CRIED during my time. THANK GOODNESS. I received a nice glass apple with my name on the back and some money. I grabbed my daughter and hit the road. My family and I went to Target and out to eat, so I spent the money. I am now AT HOME. I have no big old pile of papers to grade and no lessons to plan. I might feel a little left out in the fall when school starts back, but right now I am feeling damn good! This calls for a happy dance!